I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:
—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.
—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.
—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money
—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them
—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa
—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them
—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in
Also drink water and eat a plant
This is all GREAT. I turned 40 last week, so permit me to add what I learned in my 30s:
keep on not working for startups
sometimes there comes a point where the thing (fandom, hobby, friendship, romantic relationship) you loved no longer brings you joy. And that’s okay. Try to mourn the loss, take joy in the memories, and don’t burn any bridges in case ten years go by and you find yourself back in that fandom/hobby/relationship again
it turns out that (ugh) moderate regular exercise is (spit) good for you. The sooner you make it part of your life, the easier it’ll be
related: if you throw yourself into a new exercise regime too hard and too fast, without stopping to rest or consider whether a particular move is good for you … well, shoulder injuries are painful and consults with orthopedic surgeons are expensive
knees are bastards too
don’t even get me started on ankles
there may come a time when your digestive system is too fragile for ibuprofin. I’m sorry
one day you’re gonna wake up and realise you no longer give any fucks about some things that used to bother you
on the other hand, you might be alarmed to realise what you still give a fuck about
never get down on the floor without an exit strategy for getting back up
I turn 50 this year. what I have learned in my 40s:
“loving yourself” is less of a feeling and more of an action. you can start doing it any time and it will make your life better and better as you go on
this will happen incrementally - be patient
along those lines, if you haven’t started making an active effort to quit shit-talking yourself, suck it up and do it
no, shut up. do it. “but it’s haaaaard!” don’t care. do it.
whether you like it or not, you are mortal and you need to go to the doctor for an annual checkup
stretch regularly - your future self will thank you
at some point you will encounter people much younger than you arguing passionately and incorrectly about history you personally remember and experienced
this will be infuriating and annoying
otoh, most other things just… will not matter to you as much
at some point you will shift from wanting to go out to being like “eh” and deciding to stay in. this is okay.
you will have absolutely no idea what The Youth are talking about and you will not care
but if you keep your mind open to new ideas you’ll never be irrelevant
your company still doesn’t love you - don’t give them more than they pay you for
get a fucking hobby, especially a hobby that involves physically creating/handling something and/or moving your body in physical space. it will do you more good than you can imagine
don’t you know it’s not good for your hair to wash it every day. you have to use sulfate and paraben free shampoo. you have to wash your hair with conditioner instead. you should stop washing your hair for a month because actually your scalp has the natural ability to maintain itself. greasy hair can make your acne worse so make sure you wash it every day. you have to use this three step regiment on your face EVERY SINGLE night. buy this $70 serum and use it with the 10 other serums you have but don’t combine them. don’t use anything on your face except a gentle cleanser and moisturizer. do NOT use moisturizer on your face you are DESTROYING your skins natural moisture barrier! acne is just for teenagers you’ll grow out of it :) oh no but adult acne is sooooo common. just take birth control and your acne will go away. cut out all sugar and dairy and your acne will go away. actually those studies are fake, get light therapy treatments instead. take accutane and your acne will go away, only a couple of those kids killed themselves! shave your armpits because it looks better. if you shave your armpits you’re not a feminist. actually shaving your armpits is for HYGIENE. wax your legs. wax your bikini line. but waxing any part of your body can give you ugly ingrown hairs and permanently damage your skin and follicles and besides that’s the patriarchy. (but get laser hair removal instead.) don’t have an eating disorder because that’s too much but definitely do intermittent fasting. don’t eat carbs. don’t eat sugar. don’t eat fat. actually your brain uses carbs as its main energy source. actually fat is necessary but only good fat. you have to DRINK MORE WATER!!! drinking 8 glasses of water per day is a myth. burn fat and get toned by doing these exercises. but cellulite is natural and 99% of women have it so you HAVE to embrace it. take diet pills. ummm don’t you know those are meth?? take NATURAL diet supplements for weight loss. take THESE vitamins to cure your depression and clear your skin and make you better at sex and make your vision better and speed up your metabolism and make your digestion better and make you focus better. i know the ONLY right answer but you have to pay me for it. follow my blog! listen to my podcast! subscribe to my email newsletter! buy my snake oil!!
No remembering to thaw anything, three things to wash, less than 5 minutes actually standing and doing stuff! Nice and hearty, perfect for colder weather.
INGREDIENTS
Two frozen chicken breasts
Two cans of cream of (whatever is available) soup – I’ve used cream of chicken, cream of mushroom, and cream of celery!
3 tbsp of butter
One box of chicken broth
Spices and seasonings of choice
Frozen vegetables of choice (I like peas, broccoli, and celery)
One cup of bisquick
Milk – I eyeball it
TOOLS
An instant pot
A bowl for the Bisquick (can be paper!)
A bowl for eating (can be paper!)
A measuring cup
A serving spoon
An eating spoon (can be plastic!)
DIRECTIONS
Dump cream of chicken soup, broth, and butter into the Instant Pot. Set to saute and cook until it’s melted (like two minutes)
Add seasonings of choice – I like onion powder, garlic powder, some salt, some pepper, and some poultry seasoning
Add frozen chicken breasts
Set to “Pressure Cook” for 25 minutes. Let it natural release for about 15 minutes after.
While it’s naturally releasing, mix a cup of Bisquick with some milk until it forms a shaggy dough. I do this with my fingers to cut down on utensils, but you can use a spoon. (comes together in a minute)
After 15 minutes, quick release the rest of the pressure in the Instant Pot. Shred the chicken (you can do it with the serving spoon, it’s that tender). Dump in your frozen vegetables, and then drop in your Bisquick, either with the spoon or with your fingers.
Set to “Pressure Cook” again, this time for 5 minutes. Quick release it.
Put it in a bowl and eat! It’s enough for at least 4 servings, and keeps in the fridge well.
They’re also shooting for 100% renewable plastic sources by 2030! All of the soft plant/leaf elements in sets right now and going forward are made out of bioplastic made from sugarcane, and they’re working on getting the regular hard plastic bricks out of that, too.
They’ve done it, actually! The full bricks are in the prototype stage now, and are expected to be 100% biodegradable without the need for a commercial compost facility. It’s very cool. Right now they’re testing the durability and playability of the bricks and seeing what needs to be revised/reworked on their final model.
So its that easy huh
Of course it is
Actually, this isn’t “easy” and is huge news. You see, Lego is absolutely meticulous about their quality control. Their standards for manufacturing are stupidly high, as are their safety requirements. You know that distinctive “click” when you pop two Lego bricks apart? They engineered that. That sound is so distinctive that it can be used to tell genuine Lego bricks from counterfeits and it’s a sound that would be based on shape and material.
Furthermore, one of the hard requirements for a Lego brick is that it must be compatible with any other Lego brick. If I buy a set today and pull a set from the 1980s? Those bricks would fit together perfectly. This requires a huge amount of precision engineering and controls on manufacturing quality. (I can’t remember the source, but I’ve at least heard that once the brick molds wear to a certain point, they’re pulled from the line and either melted down or turned into construction material for Lego HQ. Point being, no one is getting their hands on a worn Lego mold)
Recycled and non-petroleum plastics are different from other plastic. The chemistry is different. The timing and process to use them is different. This has been a reason why more companies haven’t moved to them, because there’s a drop in quality for material (so they claim).
What Lego just did is completely obliterate that argument. The corporation with some of the strictest quality control requirements for plastic just kicked the basic foundation of the “bad quality” argument out from under it, because if they feel confident enough to guarantee the same experience as using a brick from over 40 years ago, if they are confident enough that they can meet their own metrics at a huge industrial scale….
i go to claire’s and speak the secret code phrase to the cashier and she takes me to the back room and pulls a lever which opens the door to the hidden weapons vault. and yes they are all pink and sparkly and decorated with unicorns and rainbows.
